An Intervention Occurs
by Paradoxlune
Summary: Harry's face to face with Voldemort in the Ministry Atrium with Dumbledore nowhere to be seen. He's convinced that he's going to die any moment when an unexpected person appears from Voldemort's past. Who is she? Read to find out! What happens when two very familiar gods get adds to the mix?
1. A surprise visitor

An intervention occurs 

**Ok, this is a mad idea I came up with while in that weird half asleep state in the morning and I just had to write it. I know it's completely ridiculous, but I find it funny.**

 **I don't own Harry Potter; I'd have to be far older and richer for that, and you would all be currently questioning your sanity.**

 **WARNING:** **If you end up in a state of minor insanity, it is your own fault, not mine.**

Harry couldn't believe what was happening around him. How could one year go so terribly wrong? If it wasn't bad enough with all the visions and Umbridge's thinly disguised torture sessions, now he was face to face with Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic atrium still drowning in guilt and grief from the death of his Godfather. Harry was convinced he was moments from death, Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen and he was alone with two of darkest, most insane individuals on the planet. Suddenly, Voldemort's victorious smirk froze along with the rest of him as a female echoed through the atrium.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle! What the _hell_ have you been thinking?! Oh wait, you can't have been, otherwise you wouldn't have made so many idiotic mistakes I'm sure."

Harry had no clue who the voice belonged to but he was sure they must have a death wish. _No one_ could get away with talking to the _Dark Lord himself_ like he was an unruly child. Right?

But Voldemort wasn't doing anything other than swivelling his head back and forth, searching for the owner of the voice while frantically whispering

"Please let it be her, please let it be her…"

Over and over again. It was actually pretty disconcerting seeing his arch-nemesis so-dare he say it-desperately hopeful.

At that moment, the origin of the voice strode into view and Harry had his hundredth shock of the day. Delicately stepping across the atrium was a teenage girl dressed in Hufflepuff robes. She was tiny, only just scraping 5 foot with long hair as black as Harry's own that swept down her back to brush at her waist. Despite her diminutive size, she had a commanding presence that made her age seem closer to twenty than anything else. Her face was heart shaped and perfectly proportioned with porcelain skin, red lips and large eyes framed by long curling lashes. Her eyes were her most striking feature as they were an incredible deep gold and seemed to glow. All her attention was trained on the slightly trembling form of Voldemort and at that instant Harry thought vaguely that out of the two of them, the girl was probably the most dangerous.

Eventually the stranger was standing right in front of the insane megalomaniac she had just insulted. Harry tensed up; convinced she was about to be cursed into oblivion. The surprises weren't over yet though. Not by a long way.

Before Harry knew what was happening, Voldemort had stepped forward and _hugged_ the tiny Hufflepuff girl. What's more, _she was hugging him back!_ What the hell?! Finally, the two drew apart, but not by much as Voldemort grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her slightly roughly.

"Where have you been? You haven't turned up in over two decades! How am I meant to successfully complete my goals without you around? I thought you were dead or something. What in Circe's name happened to you? Diana, you know what I get like without you. What's happening now proves that!"

The girl calmly withstood the shaking, her only response during his rant being to lift her hand to rest on his scaly cheek. As soon as Voldemort ran out of words she drew him back into a hug before attempting to answer his questions. Harry was still just standing there in complete confusion. What was going on? Who was this girl called 'Diana'? He only realised he'd spoken those two questions when the two powerful individuals turned to regard him. Luckily Diana appeared more amused than anything else.

"Well, you do deserve an explanation as well I guess. To answer your questions Tom, I have been back in our seventh year, as expected. I would have been jumping forward to see you as per usual and generally keep you a sane, well-adjusted member of society, but Dumbledore was somehow blocking me. I only just made it through and now I'm stuck here so I guess we now know what happened to me."

Harry tentatively raised his hand after that.

"Um… That explains nothing to me, sorry."

Diana laughed at that.

"I know, we'll explain it all properly in a moment after I've finished fixing the last two decades worth of damage to Tom. Now Tom, what the hell were you thinking?! _Splitting your soul seven times? Are you insane?!_ Don't answer that. I've spent the last week tracking down all your soul pieces and finding a way to stitch you back together again you moronic idiot!"

Voldemort was looking incredibly contrite by the end of that particular rant. Funny, Harry hadn't known he could pull off that expression while looking like a snake-faced bastard. Looks like you learn a new thing every day. Diana abruptly started pulling objects out of her robes, a pretty tiara thingy, a small golden cup, a clunky looking ring, a beautiful locket and a strange orb thingy with black smoke swirling around furiously in it.

"You realise you're running on practically no soul at all now? The bit from the diary was so confused; it couldn't pick up a trail to the master soul, as it was too weak a pull now. Right, be a good brother and drink this potion."

Thus saying, she shoved a vial of silver potion into Voldemort's hands that he hastily downed. Next, she casually cut his robes to reveal his chest before calmly carving a series of runes into Voldemort's skin with a gleaming black blade. Once that was done she used Voldemort's blood to draw yet more runes on each of the objects. Finally she started to chant in some language Harry had never heard before. All the runes started to glow a deep crimson, growing brighter and brighter until they all flashed blindingly for a moment before disappearing altogether. Once Harry was done blinking the spots out of his vision his jaw hit the floor. Standing before him was a twenty-year-old Tom Riddle. And _damn_ if he wasn't good looking. Mortal enemy or not. Then Riddle grinned-actually _grinned-_ down at Diana before enveloping her in another hug before picking her clear up off the floor and spinning her around through the air.

"Oh, how I've missed my bonded sister."

Riddle laughed. Yep, that's right. Laughed. Harry's brain finally caught up at that.

"Wait, sister? Can someone please explain what's going on?"

That seemed to bring the two apparent siblings to their senses.

"Ah yes. You see Harry, when I went to Hogwarts I was a cynical, scared child who had never experienced affection of any sort beyond the snakes I'd occasionally found. Diana here was similar in the sense that she was an orphan. Unlike me, she had known her family for years before the orphanage. She never gave up once in her quest to befriend me until I caved. She was my only true friend. In our third year we discovered a ritual which would make us blood siblings, it was an easy choice really. After that moment we were practically joined at the hip. She is even more intelligent than me. A true genius. And on top of that, a seer. My mental state was always slightly precarious due to the muggle war and the abuse at the orphanage but Diana always kept me from tipping over the edge. But then she foresaw her own disappearance during our seventh year. We knew I'd never manage without her, so we created an object that would allow her to time jump, so she would always be with me no matter what. But about 25 years ago she just vanished. She never showed up and I was pushed over the edge into madness. Not just me, but my Death Eaters as well. She was the thing holding us together and with her gone we became the muggle hating, homicidal terror organisation you see today."

Diana cut in at that point.

"Before I disappeared they were just a political group advocating equal education of all magic, early introduction of muggleborns and the creation of a better Wizarding Social Services Department among other things. We were winning as well before Dumbledore interfered with my time jumping. Manipulative old coot. Him and his stupid fake prophecy."

Tom started violently at that and seemed to gain even more height.

" _What?!_ You mean to tell me that I went after the Potters all those years ago because of that lemon drop obsessed fool's manipulations?"

"Exactly, brother dear. I have temporarily incapacitated him but something must be permanently done about him soon. He'll attempt to destroy me once and for all if we don't."

By this point Harry's head was spinning. All this new information was messing with his view of the world and specifically Dumbledore. If what they were saying was true, then Dumbledore was directly responsible for his parent's deaths and his treatment at the hands of the Dursley's. He'd had his doubts about Dumbledore since Ron's comment after the Philosopher's Stone incident, but they'd been easily ignored before now. Now he needed to know more and decide if he truly was on the right side of this war. And surprisingly, Voldemort was making the most sense at the moment. With those thoughts at the forefront of his mind he met Diana's eyes and asked;

"Could I go with you and hear the rest of the story? It sounds like I know nothing about this war I'm expected to fight in and it's about time I acted like the snake I truly am instead of a foolish lion."

The siblings both let out a laugh at that pronouncement before Tom held out a hand for him to take.  
"Shall we? We can talk further at a more comfortable, secure location. I give my Wizards oath that you will not be harmed while with us."

Harry sighed in relief as he felt the magic of the oath snap into effect around him as he took the offered hand.

"One moment, brother dearest. You're forgetting Bella. I really must have a talk with her about controlling the Black madness instead of it controlling her. Bella, get over here!"

An obviously awed Bellatrix Lestrange scuttled over to them. Eyes fixed on Diana with a look close to worship. Once she was close she whispered.

"Huntress? It's really you? I heard of your existence, but I never thought to meet you in person my lady."

Diana smiled indulgently up at Bella while Harry was merely struggling with confusion for about the thousandth time. Tom obviously noticed and took pity on him.

"My sister is named after the Roman goddess of the hunt and the moon. She is not only a fierce warrior but also plays mother or protectress to all my Death Eaters. Hence the title of 'Huntress'."

Harry found himself grinning up at his erstwhile enemy until he snapped back to reality and frowned in consternation. He was obviously in shock, that must be it. He couldn't honestly be enjoying Voldemort's company. Could he? Anyway, they were ready to go. Tom tightened his hold on Harry's hand that Harry was startled to realise he'd never released before turning on the spot and apparating away while Diana did the same with Bellatrix. And in that instant, the future of Magical Britain was changed forever. Whether this was a good thing was yet to be seen. Either way, The Light would now be facing a sane Voldemort and his brilliant Huntress. They didn't stand a chance.

 **Hehehe… What do you think? Shall I write more or leave it at that? This was so fun to write and I might write her dealing with the Death Eaters some time soon. Either way, I have created something…. Unique. Yeah… Lets go with that.**


	2. A day in the life of

**OOOH! LOOK! I'M BACK! Sorry everyone, I've not been updating lately as my bad luck chose to strike again. My Higher Music performance exam was set for Monday. Everything was fine until a blister on my thumb tore/burst spectacularly on Sunday… That would still have been fine if it hadn't become really infected overnight causing half my hand to swell up. I'm still taking antibiotics a week later and only the pain only just reached a point where I don't need painkillers.**

 **ANYWAY! I don't own Harry Potter or any other J.K Rowling characters, if you haven't realised this by now then there is no hope.**

 **Oh, Karma Rue Lovegood Everdeen is now betaing my stories for me so many thanks to her.**

Harry Potter was very happy. The start of the summer holidays had passed him by with barely a thought. Ever since his decision to go with the Riddle twins, everything had changed. For one, Diana had made him see all of the manipulations going on around him. The first one being the Weasleys.

Why would an all Wizarding family that had already sent five sons to Hogwarts need to discuss where the platform was? Especially so loudly?

She'd also pointed out the fact that there was no way that all the other compartments had been full like Ron said. And don't get him started on his many adventures throughout the years. Diana had ranted for a good hour about those.

Tom had joined in by telling Harry about all the things that should have happened the moment he entered the Wizarding world. The power held by the House of Potter and all it entailed and the Wizarding laws surrounding magical contracts and all their escape clauses. They had also pointed out how easily Dumbledore could have got Sirius a trial.

Needless to say, Harry was furious and would happily see Dumbledore fall.

Living with the Riddles was the best thing to happen to him in a very long time, and wasn't that a strange thought? The twins bickered all the time over such stupid things while Harry sat laughing in the background. However, Diana had spent half her time going on about Tom's stupidity for listening to the words of "that drunken old bat."

Turns out, there _was_ a prophecy, but Diana had been the seer to give it and it was nothing like the one recorded in the Department of Mysteries. The one Diana had given went

" _The one with the power to match the Dark Lord approaches…. Born to those who have thrice defied him…. Born as the seventh month dies…. And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal…. For he will have power the Light Lord knows not…. For the Light Lord to fall the Dark Lord will need his equal…. For neither can die while the other survives…. The one with the power to vanquish the Light Lord approaches…. Born as the seventh month dies…."_

To say that Harry and Tom were shocked was an understatement. This prophecy basically said that to bring down Dumbledore, they had to join forces. On top of that, if they understood it correctly, as long as they weren't fighting each other, they would live forever. How that worked he had no idea.

Upon finding out about Nagini, Diana had become thoughtful before gently removing the Horcrux to add on to Tom's cobbled together soul. Then she'd wandered off to the library and hadn't been seen since. Tom had reassured Harry that this was completely normal for her and she'd appear once she'd found the answer to whatever problem she was puzzling over. The next they heard from her was an ear-splitting shriek of,

 ** _"Tom Marvolo Riddle! You are in so much trouble!"_**

Tom and Harry both shot out of their armchairs in the living room to stare wildly at the door.

"What have I done now?"

Tom whispered just as the door exploded inwards to reveal a furious Diana. Her magic was visibly swirling in the air around her and her golden eyes glowed with suppressed power. Both men took a hasty step backwards and Tom gulped loudly. Neither of them had ever seen Diana this mad before. Diana's mouth opened to release a deadly hiss.

"The Horcruxes I could handle because I thought you hadn't gone too far. Nagini I could handle as she had a fairly simple brain and the soul piece was easy to remove. Now I discover that you managed to _accidentally fracture your soul and you didn't even notice!_ Your soul was worse off than even I thought possible! Do you know what's worse? There is _no way_ I can safely remove that soul fragment from a human without killing them!"

Her voice had steadily risen throughout her rant but now it dropped to a sarcastic drawl,

"Congratulations Tom, meet Harry, _your human Horcrux!_ **_You complete idiot! I could KILL you!_** "

On the last sentence her voice returned to an inhuman shriek loud enough to damage eardrums.

Her rant continued on in the background as Harry and Tom stared at each other in unadulterated shock. Tom recovered first, only to jerkily raise an arm and lightly trace the scar on Harry's forehead. These days, the two former enemies could touch each other without Harry feeling even a hint of pain.

Personally, Harry thought it was a big improvement. Tom hadn't commented. Harry dragged in a shaky breath at the light touch, an action that seemed to jolt Tom into speech.

"I'm sorry that I was such a megalomaniac bastard and left part of my soul in your forehead after killing your parents."

Harry managed a grin at that.

"Meh, it's ok. It was war, and plus, I remember you giving my mum the chance to live. At least you're making up for it now. As for the whole soul fragment thing, it's not doing any harm and"

 _'it could be useful.'_

Harry finished in his mind while focusing on his connection with Tom. Tom's head jerked back in surprise at that before,

' _Useful indeed. This will certainly make things interesting. This whole Horcrux fiasco could actually be the thing linking our life forces.'_

 _'Hmm. That is actually quite likely. Oh look, Diana's finished ranting.'_

Diana had finally run out of insults and stood in the middle of the room panting slightly. Just in time as Lucius Malfoy chose that moment to walk into the room and bow to Tom.

"My Lord, I have managed to work my way out of an Azkaban sentence and wished to report my success."

Lucius' voice was it's usual silky drawl and Harry couldn't help staring at this example of proper Wizarding fashion and realised how plainly he and Diana were dressed. Harry was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a burgundy t-shirt that Diana had insisted on buying him while Diana was clad in blue jeans with a Chinese dragon embroidered up one leg and a form fitting black t-shirt. Tom and Lucius really showed them up, both dressed impeccably in black robes, Lucius' with silver detailing, whilst the detailing on Tom's was a shocking emerald green.

Unfortunately for Lucius, he didn't stay neat for long as Diana launched herself across the room at him with a shout of

"Lucy!"

Lucius only had a moment to freeze like a rabbit in the headlights before he was sent crashing to the floor in an undignified heap, Diana wrapped around him like a human limpet.

Tom and Harry took one look at each other before collapsing into their chairs and laughing themselves silly.

 _'Lucy?!'_

Harry questioned disbelievingly.

 _'Ahh yes, my sister met him the year leading up to her disappearance twenty years ago. He was only seventeen but was a prodigy at Wizarding law so was working for me. They met and became very close, his only complaint being her annoying habit of calling him 'Lucy' instead of Lucius.'_

Tom thought in a distinctly amused tone, even sounding slightly chocked with laughter.

The two refocused on the scene before them in time to see Lucius recover from his shock and take in who had tackled him only to freeze again before lunging into a sitting position and wrapping his arms around the much smaller body now cradled in his lap. If Harry didn't know better, he'd swear Lucius was crying. Wait… Lucius _was_ crying! Yet again, his world was being turned on its head. Eventually Lucius found his voice, even if it was shaky with strong emotion.

"Di. You're back. Thank god. Thank god. Not letting you out of my sight. No way in hell. Where'd you go? Rod and Bastian will be ecstatic. It's been hell. They made me marry that airhead Narcissa. Thank god you're here."

Diana's voice was muffled by Lucius's robes but still plainly audible.

"Shh… Lu. I'm here and I'm not leaving ever again. Dumbledore blocked my time jumping. Only recently got through. I'll see the twins soon. I'm here…"

After a good ten minutes had passed in this fashion, the two managed to move to one of the room's sofas and Diana turned to Tom.

"Tom, could you summon Rod and Bastian over? It's been twenty years since I last saw them."

She asked in a surprisingly vulnerable voice. Harry had never seen her so open and fragile. He could actually see Tom melt at the sight as he nodded before closing his eyes and frowning in concentration. Five minutes later, two identical figures stood in the doorway. Azkaban hadn't affected these two as badly as the others Harry had seen. Both were on the slightly skeletal side, but held themselves proudly. Their long black hair and aquiline features reminded Harry strongly of Sirius but their most striking feature was their eyes that were a startling shade of violet. Harry had never seen anything like them. The one on the left moved forward slightly and both bowed deeply.

"My Lord, how may we serve you?"

Their voice was clipped and measured, while holding the self assured arrogance Harry had come to associate with all purebloods.

Tom smirked lightly at the pair.

"I merely called you both here to be reunited with a long lost friend."

He drawled lazily. Harry, meanwhile, was confused again.

 _'How come they know it's you. You're no longer snake face. And why aren't they reacting to me?'_

 _'They can all feel my magic through their marks.'_

Tom explained patiently.

 _'That cannot be faked or hidden. As for you, they know not to question my dealings.'_

His voice was decidedly smug at the last part.

The Lestrange brothers by this point had finally noticed Diana in her spot curled next to Lucius on the sofa. Both blinked several times in obvious shock before swooping over and plucking her up off her seat to be crushed between them in a desperate embrace.

"Baby sister-"

"-We missed you-"

"-Did the old coot-"

"-Interfere in some way?"

Harry suddenly interrupted to exclaim,

"Oh Merlin! They're the older Weasley twins!"

Before anyone could respond, a voice came from the destroyed doorway.

"You called-"

"-Dear brother of ours?"

"We knew we'd-"

"-find you here."

"And we'd just like to say that-"

"-We're with you all the way."

Everyone's heads whipped around to find the Weasley twins smirking from their position in the entrance. Tom recovered first.

"How the hell did you get past my wards?!"

The twin smirks only widened.

"Ask us no questions-"

"-And we'll tell you no lies."

"But, We will say this."

"Nothing can stop us-"

"If we set our minds to something."

Harry nodded fervently in the background at that declaration.

"That's definitely true. These guys are scary."

At this news, Rodolphus and Rabastian exchanged glances before passing Diana back to Lucius and striding across the room to stand before the two young red heads and extend their hands.

"Rodolphus and-"

"-Rabastian Lestrange-"

"-At your service-"

"Inventors extraordinaire."

They finished together with a flourish.

Fred and George grinned before shaking the offered hands.

"Gred and-"

"-Forge Weasley-"

"-Master pranksters and inventors-"

"At _your_ service."

The four exchanged dangerous smirks while the rest of the room watched on in something akin to horror.

 _"I think… We may be witnessing… The beginning of the apocalypse. What have we done?!"_

Harry thought frantically through the connection. Tom himself seemed incapable of forming any words, instead looking stuck somewhere between terror and laughter.

Luckily the moment was broken by Fred turning to Harry to declare seriously,

"Luna and Neville will stand by you like us. Luna was the one who suggested we check here actually. I swear that girl's a seer of some sort."

Diana interjected at that with an air of smug superiority.

"She is. I should know as a fellow seer. It'll be a pleasure to meet her."

All Harry could say to that was,

"That explains so much."

That seemed to be everyone's cue to start their own conversations. The newly introduced group of twins huddled in a corner talking about goodness knows what while Diana and Lucius conversed on the sofa in low voices.

 _"Tom?"_

 _"Yes, Harry?"_

 _"Thank you. This is already the best summer I've ever had and anything's an improvement to how I lived before Hogwarts."_

 _"What do you mean by that?"_

 _"Um… Never mind."_

Harry thought, desperately trying to cover his slip up.

 _"Harry…"_

Shite. Tom's voice had taken on that dangerous air of 'speak now or regret it.'

 _"Fine. I lived in the cupboard under the stairs until my first Hogwarts letter. Happy?"_

Harry thought petulantly, hoping the matter would be dropped.

 _"…."_

 _"Tom?"_

This wasn't good. What was Tom thinking? His face had gone scarily blank and he was scaring Harry with his silence.

 _"I believe a visit to your relatives is in order."_

Tom finally thought in a deceptively calm voice that screamed of planned violence.

 _"…"_

 _"Is there any way to stop you going?"_

 _"None."_

 _"Okay… Just, leave Dudley out of it and don't kill them. Please."_

 _"I promise."_

 _"No permanent damage either."_

 _"Haaaarrryyyy."_

Tom whined like a small child, startling a laugh from Harry.

 _"No."_

 _"You're no fun."_

Tom groused.

 _"Tough."_

 _"If it makes you feel any better, the staff at the orphanage had me exorcised a grand total of five times before I managed to escape. Diana went through three of them."_

 _"Wow… No wonder you're both slightly insane."_

 _"That's one explanation."_

 _"What's the other one?"_

 _"That we're just naturally brilliant."_

 _"Oh, of course. How could I forget your abnormally large ego? It's practically a separate entity."_

Harry retorted, voice thoughts saturated in sarcasm.

 _"Oh, ha ha."_

Harry had to grin at that last response. Yes, life was good. Even if he was living with his supposed enemy. For once, the future looked bright for Harry Potter.

 **Whataya think? I have no idea if I'll write any more of this, I really like the concept so I'll try to write more at some point. I'll be posting a new chapter of Dangers of a Bored God soon so look out for that!**


	3. An Unexpected Battle

**Why hello there! Someone recently commented about how they wanted me to expand into different worlds/adventures with Paradox. Good news guys, I already have about three ideas about this. Now, let me know what you want me to cover first;**

 **The Jack Sparrow Incident**

 **The Hobbit Debacle**

 **Or…**

 **The Chase for Hannibal Lecter.**

 **And now, the moment I've been waiting for with this story… Diana's backstory revealed!**

Everything had been going perfectly for the past couple of months. Harry, Fred and George had been tutored by Lucius, the twins and Tom himself. What with Diana being too busy telling off Tom's Death Eaters for every tiny thing they'd ever done wrong. It was official; Diana was far scarier than Tom ever was. Her face off against Snape had been legendary. Unlike the others, he fought back for a good hour and a half before giving in and listening to what she was saying. Harry had even gotten an apology from the git! Would miracles never cease?

It was a quiet September evening and the whole group was ensconced around the drawing room's grand fireplace talking and sipping their preferred drinks when it happened.

'It' being the sudden appearance of a complete stranger in their midst. He was fairly tall, with broad shoulders and narrow hips, his muscles obvious through his shirt. He had pale skin, flashing sea green eyes and golden blond hair. However, his flawless looks weren't what drew their eyes; it was the twisting black and silver tattoo that took up a whole side of his face.

Glancing around, Harry realised that Tom and Diana obviously knew this new person standing before them, this was confirmed when the stranger looked directly at Diana and loudly pronounced, "She's coming. I came to help. I can't watch you suffer again so soon."

This further confused everyone. Who was this 'she' he mentioned? Why was she after Diana? It was clearly very serious when the first thing out of Tom's mouth was, "Fuck. That's the last thing we need."

Diana was sheet white and her tiny frame was shaking like a leaf. Harry, who was standing near her, could barely make out her whispering, "Fuck, fuck fuckity fuck fuck. I am _not_ leaving them already. No way in hell."

Tom and the stranger converged on her and swept her up into a group hug. The stranger spoke up first, "Listen to me, I am stronger than her, especially with you to help. We can do this. You'll need to switch back to your usual form; you'll need all your energy to repel her. Once we've forced her out we can put up permanent barriers around this time period and explain to all of your friends. Okay?"

Harry watched Diana nod against his shoulder before her body began to warp and change. First her form lengthened until she matched the height of the unnamed man holding her, then her hair shortened, lightening until it was the same blond as the strangers. And when she finally turned to face them, they saw that her eyes now matched his as well. Harry was now certain that the forthcoming explanations were going to make the ones at the Ministry look like a walk in the park. Before anyone could say anything, another figure flashed into existence. This one was shorter than the previous intruder. She had copper hair that curled around her face to brush her collarbones and sapphire blue eyes. Her neck was covered by a flowing design done in a midnight blue and black so that the two colours were almost indistinguishable. Her face was contorted into fury and she soon started yelling, "Paradox! How dare you come back here after I punished you the last time! What is your obsession with these particular mortals? It's unnatural! You're coming back with me and it'll be the pit for the next couple of centuries. That should teach you."

Diana or Paradox as the woman had called her stood her ground throughout the vicious diatribe until the woman had to pause for breath. Taking the opportunity, Paradox interrupted with a single, quiet, "No."

The woman stood, mouth flapping like a beached fish before twisting into an ugly sneer before hissing out, "Then I'll just have to force you."

With that, a wave of pure, midnight blue magic swirled out into the air around the hateful woman, readying itself for an attack. Diana and her male body double did the same; the man's magic felt so very cold and was a beautiful silver like his tattoo. Diana's however, was a deep burgundy and Harry's favourite to feel. It felt light, and mischievous and oh so powerful. Some of it wrapped around everyone in the room except for the three preparing for battle. Then the silver and burgundy magic swirled together into one, awe-inspiring mass before rushing across the room at the half-mad woman who let out a screech and vanished completely. Job obviously not completed, the pair then seemed to push their magic out in an ever-widening sphere that soon disappeared from view. Only then did Diana let the magic around the watchers fade. As soon as it was gone, Tom rushed forward to wrap Diana in a tight embrace before pulling her over to the sofa to sit down. Seeing this, the others soon found seats around the room, waiting for their explanation. They didn't have to wait for long. Diana spoke up in a deceptively even voice that failed to hide how shaken she really was, "That was my mother. The goddess of Time and a right bitch."

After that statement her voice grew in strength and she soldiered on, "My true name is Paradox, goddess of Chaos, impossibilities occurring and time travel among other very minor things and the man sitting over there is my twin brother, Death. I love humans and have a habit of spending my time as one to interfere in their lives to change them for the better."

She broke off at that to laugh slightly bitterly, "Well, I try at least. Anyway, in a world parallel to this one I interfered heavily in your lives. I used my control over time travel to allow me to raise Harry and Tom as twins and my children. In that world, I didn't see a way to stop Voldemort's insanity. I changed so much and got attached along the way. You were my babies; I was there for everything. So I decided to try helping you in a parallel universe. This one. You can guess how I set out to do that, telling nobody but Tom who I truly was. I couldn't risk upsetting my _dear_ mother too much. However, it wasn't enough and she turned up a couple of decades ago in earth time and dragged me off for a couple of centuries of torture and humiliation. Clearly, I didn't get the message and now Death also has to stay here to hide from her rage. I shudder to think what she'd be like if we don't wait a couple of centuries for her temper to cool somewhat."

The whole room shivered involuntarily, most had been tortured at some point but could never imagine going through that for several hundred years. Paradox's home life went beyond bad and into the stuff of even the worst type of human's nightmares. They were achingly glad she'd been able to escape from that fate for a while longer. The fact she cared enough for them to come back even with that hanging as a threat over her head was humbling. That she loved them all fiercely was startlingly clear and they all vowed to return that love to the best of their abilities. And so they did.

Life settled down for a while after that. Diana returned to the form they knew her by and carried on terrorising the Death Eaters into competency. Nothing of note happened again until she burst into the drawing room to pronounce, "They're finally ready."

She didn't need to elaborate. They all knew she meant that the outer circle was finally in a fit state for them to win this war. Now came the planning. Diana, being their resident goddess and expert went first. Voice commanding, she regarded them all, "First of all, we need eyes on Dumbledore and inside Hogwarts. Harry, I believe that both Neville and Luna will stand by you if you talk to them. Also, we have all the Death Eater children in Slytherin but Neville could prove vital. He shares a dorm with Weasley, someone who will most likely know a fair bit of what is going on. Plus, no one ever notices Neville or Luna so will talk more freely in his or her presence."

Fred and George nodded along in the background to this. They had already said that Neville and Luna would stand with them after all. Diana continued on. Voice cold, "The next thing to deal with is Dumbledore."

All eyes narrowed at the hated name.

"Without Dumbledore, the resistance will crumble if we do it right. We can't just kill him, as that would just create a martyr for them to rally around. What we need to do is ruin him. Expose all his dirty little secrets for the whole world to see."

Tom burst out laughing at this. Eyes glowing with mirth before picking up where Diana had left off. His voice held a brittle, hurt undertone though, "This will work best if Harry and I reveal our living conditions and how Dumbledore was involved in them. Also, we need to share everything that has happened at Hogwarts in the past five years. _Especially_ the incident with the Philosopher's Stone. That was criminal negligence and child endangerment on Dumbledore's part."

Harry was far from happy at this news. He knew what this would entail. Interviews. Worse, interviews about the Dursleys. Plus, he knew the best person for this job was Rita Skeeter. Harry disliked her intensely for the part she'd played in the hell that was the Triwizard Tournament. As if she was reading his thoughts, Paradox softly said, "Don't worry Harry, we'll make sure she's on her best behaviour and oversee the printing process. You won't have a repeat of fourth year. She already helped you last year. This will just be an extension of that."

Reassured, Harry relaxed fully. He had been avoiding the subject of the Dursleys with Tom as much as possible but Tom was still out for blood. How Harry had delayed him this long was a miracle. It was strange; Tom had become his protective older brother when he'd been trying to kill him not too long ago. The twins had always been like siblings to him, but he more often felt like they were on a level footing in terms of maturity and age. Tom, however, was undoubtedly the older, smarter sibling that would protect you at any cost. Harry actually felt sorry for his hated relatives. With the Dark Lord caring for Harry, their days truly were numbered. Focusing back on the discussion, he was just in time to hear Lucius start speaking. His usual haughty tone firmly in place, nose imperceptively raised,

"With Harry being the Black Heir, he's inherited the Black family home. We can easily gain access at any time now as the Black family blood magics will overrule the Fidelius. Without their headquarters, The Order will be in a state of confusion for quite some time. We can capitalise on that fact."

All at the table nodded along to this, seeing the sense in his words. After a short pause, the Weasley twins leaned forward, smirking viciously, "We have-"

"-so many prank products-"

"-that can easily be used-"

"-to ambush or trap-"

"-the Order."

"Our portable swamp-"

"-being just one example-"

"-of our genius."

As some members of the group rubbed their necks with slight grimaces, Death sat forward eagerly along with the Lestrange brothers. Death expressed his excitement first,

"You made that in this world too? That was one of my favourites! How did you make it this time? You didn't have Harry and Tom around to help you! Or Neville!"

The twins leaned back in surprised confusion. For once, they spoke without swapping around, "Wait, Harry, Tom and Neville helped us prank?"

Paradox and Death smirked at this. Paradox elected to answer, voice smug, "Harry and Tom were geniuses growing up together. They formed a twin telepathic link which they managed to partially link to yours. You all learnt wandless magic and those two were flying unaided from infancy. Your group was made up of you four of course, Neville, Draco and Teddy Nott. There were others that arrived later but that was the group that successfully pranked Albus Dumbledore in Harry's first year."

The Weasley twins gaped at Paradox in stunned disbelief for several minutes before vaulting the table and tackling Harry into a hug that they somehow managed to drag Tom into. From the mess of limbs came Fred and Georges babbling pleas for Harry and Tom to help them 'go down in pranking history'. Paradox was in the background, laughing her head off while propping herself up against Death. The Lestrange brothers looked like they were considering worshipping this group of apparent pranksters and Lucius just looked confused. Needless to say, it took a while to get everyone calmed down and back in their seats. Once this was done, their minds returned to more serious matters.

"Gred, Forge, co-ordinate with the Lestrange brothers on the traps idea," Death barked out, finally getting involved with the planning session instead of lounging around looking bored, "Paradox, I assume you will be working with Tom on organising the press coverage and finding ways to make the Death Eaters look like the good guys. Maybe even reveal Diana as Tom's twin sister who travelled through time just to help her brother retain his sanity and throw in how Dumbledore blocked your travels. After all, he did try."

Death's voice was unnerving to listen to. He had a habit of talking in the same sarcastic, bored drawl no matter what he said and it lulled the listener into thinking that he wasn't saying anything important while simultaneously drawing them in. If Harry was honest, it freaked him out slightly. It was the complete opposite of Paradox; she had no volume control and expressed every emotion she felt through her voice. Tom speaking jerked him out of his musings, his chest rumbling reassuringly against Harry's ear as he was pressed into Tom's side, "And I need to get rid of Wormtail. Why I ever kept him around is a mystery. I'll most likely send him to the Ministry of Magic."

This pronouncement made Harry beam and snuggle further into the hug Tom was giving him. He and Tom had discovered that after their childhoods, they had a habit of spending their time attached firmly to anyone they considered family. Especially each other as they understood what the other had been through. It had the added benefit of helping Tom retain his sanity. Harry was just happy to be catching up on all the affection he had missed for so many years. Soon enough the war would be over and they could all live the life they had been denied for so long. They all craved it, they were tired of fighting. Paradox sent them both a brilliant smile before addressing the room for a final time, "That's it for now, I think. We'll have further meetings as we go and situations arise. For now, we have work to do."

Murmurs of agreement were heard throughout the room as people smiled and moved to start on their various tasks. They would end this war so they could all live in the peace they all craved.

 **Hehehe… I bet you weren't expecting** ** _that._** **Oooh, that was fun to write! There'll be a new chapter of Dangers of a Bored God soon enough and I'm actually working on another idea with my beta and occasional joint writer Karma Rue Lovegood Everdeen. Hope you enjoyed this and see you soon!**


	4. Of Editors and Explosions

**I've been in Mexico, don't kill me and enjoy!**

A few days later the house was a hive of activity. Fred and George were holed up somewhere with the Lestrange brothers plotting something dastardly and evil,

Lucius was proving that he was a political genius, and Tom was comforting Harry who had finally allowed his grief for Sirius out in a storm of guilt and tears. Paradox, meanwhile, was facing down Rita Skeeter in the drawing room. The evening special edition of the Daily Prophet was sure to be eye opening. Paradox even had permission from Harry to reveal a bit about his life at the Dursleys. Rita was practically frothing at the mouth by the time she left, eyes bright with glee.

The Wizarding world was shaken to its very core when the Prophet was deposited that evening, the headlines screaming out;

 ** _The Truth Behind the War, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's past revealed_**

 ** _Just this morning, dear readers, I got the request for an interview from one Diana Selene Riddle. I'll admit, I wasn't expecting much when I agreed to meet her at her home, but what a shock I got my readers when the truth was revealed to me. She started the interview by swearing on her life and magic that everything she was about to say was the truth, which intrigued me, I will admit._**

 ** _It's a good thing she did or I would never have believed her! This seventeen year old girl was none other than You-Know-Who's twin sister!_**

 ** _How is this possible? I asked. She laughed before telling all,_**

 ** _"My brother and I ended up in the same muggle orphanage. Both of us were bullied, abused and feared for our magic so we naturally grew close. At Hogwarts, he went to Slytherin while I was placed in Hufflepuff. We were not born siblings but we soon found a ritual that would blood adopt the other as our twin. We barely had to think about it; of course we were going to do it. All we had was each other and this way, we really would be brother and sister. My role in his life became all the more vital as we grew older. My poor brother had lived his whole life in that orphanage, only knowing love once I got there. His sanity hung in a fragile balance with me being the only one able to keep him from slipping. Then one day I got my first and last prophetic vision. I would disappear at the end of our seventh year. Which meant Tom would be all alone. This could not happen, so, working together, we created a way for me to travel forward in time so that I could regularly check up on him and keep him sane. This worked well for years, Tom's goals for equality for all, a better child welfare system and improving the education system were going well even with Dumbledore and the 'Light' trying to tarnish his reputation. Then, Dumbledore somehow blocked my ability to travel to Tom's side. It took me until recently to get back through and now I can never go back, I finally know where I disappeared to all those years ago."_**

 ** _I can tell you, dear readers, I was beyond shocked at what she was saying. I checked with her and can now safely inform you that the First Wizarding War would never have happened if Dumbledore had not stopped Diana from visiting her brother. All those deaths now rest solely on his shoulders._**

 ** _While I had her there, I chose to ask about the Dark's plans for the future,_**

 ** _"We are going back to how we were always meant to be. A political movement fighting for equality and better handling of our children. Muggleborn and raised children are often abused for what they are. Even your Boy-Who-Lived that you claim to adore so much experienced this._**

 ** _Again, dear readers, I was speechless. Upon being asked to elaborate she said,_**

 ** _"Well, I will only say what I have permission to but Harry grew up living in the Cupboard under the stairs. That's where his Hogwarts letter was first addressed to. If that doesn't say enough, I don't know what will. The Weasley twins had to rescue him the summer before his second year because his relatives had locked him in his cousin's old second bedroom and were feeding him tiny amounts that they pushed through a catflap. His school supplies are locked away as soon as he returns and he's lucky to get his homework done before the first day back at school. His glasses are the wrong prescription and he's malnourished. We're working to correct the damage, but will be keeping him far away from Dumbledore and the public for quite some time so he has the chance to recover in peace."_**

 ** _This was too much for me, dear readers and I'm ashamed to admit that I fainted at this news. We have all failed Harry Potter, and, it seems, we have also failed the Riddle siblings. If we were wrong about these people, what else are we missing?_**

 ** _I plan to find out dear readers, we deserve the truth._**

 ** _Rita Skeeter_**

The article sent the whole country into uproar. Remus was snarling at everyone, the wolf in him straining to destroy the people who had harmed his cub. Tonks was in tears, the Order was in a state of confusion now that it seemed that there was no one to fight. Hermione was feeling incredibly guilty over not being there for her friend, for never noticing how far the bad treatment went. Bill and Charlie were feeling sorry for the small boy they'd met during the world cup while also feeling slightly smug that their thoughts on there not being something quite right about the headmaster proving correct. Severus Snape was almost comatose over the information before him. Harry James Potter had been abused. Not just neglected, outright abused. Now that he was being forced to face it, he realised that he'd been seeing the signs since first year but elected to ignore it. The shame he felt was all the worse with the realisation that he was probably now placed in the same category as Harry's abusers after his treatment of the boy over the years. Especially the occlumency lessons. He'd actually _thrown_ something at the child. Yes, he'd apologised after being shouted at by Diana, but now he felt like he might need to do it again. The Dark weren't finished just yet though; they still had Wormtail and the happenings at Hogwarts to go through.

The shocks continued the very next day….

 ** _Sirius Black Innocent of all Charges! Confirmed_**

 ** _That's right, dear readers. During my interview I was shown Peter Pettigrew, restrained and ready to be moved to the DMLE for trial._**

 ** _It seems that the recently deceased Sirius Black was innocent all along and Minister Fudge was told this by Harry Potter himself back in their third year._**

 ** _It was then revealed that the children were encouraged to save Mr. Black with the aid of a time-turner given to Miss Hermione Granger to help her take all available subjects. Not only was this a clear case of child endangerment, but, as Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore could have simply called for a trial._**

 ** _Why didn't he do this if he's as light as he likes to appear? That, my dear readers is when we enter the realms of theory._**

 ** _Sirius Black was Harry Potter's legal guardian yet Dumbledore took Harry straight to his muggle relations while Sirius was still free and not accused of any crime._**

 ** _Why do this if he didn't plan for things to go his way?_**

 ** _Also, the use of the Fidelius charm was only revealed by Dumbledore and he was one of the people who condemned Sirius Black from the start._**

 ** _What possible innocent motive could there be for these actions?_**

 ** _If we interpret these actions the way we should, how can we accept his usual response of 'For the Greater Good' which, shockingly, is the same phrase used by The Dark Lord Grindelwald._**

 ** _What is lurking behind those twinkling eyes and kind persona?_**

 ** _I shall find out for us all, dear readers. Who, exactly, are we entrusting the care of our children to?_**

Surprisingly enough, Dumbledore was still blissfully unaware that his carefully crafted image was being destroyed. He'd cut himself off from the world as he hunted for Tom's Horcruxes, not knowing that they no longer existed apart from Harry.

Meanwhile, Arthur Weasley was regarding his two youngest children with barely disguised horror. They hadn't shown any form of concern over the wellbeing of their friend who had disappeared over a month ago. And now that they had news of him, they seemed angry for some reason. Upon questioning them, their shallow natures and selfish reasons for staying close to Harry had come to light and Arthur was sure that he'd never been so ashamed in his life. They'd been using a poor, abused orphan to gain fame and attention. Arthur, for the first time ever, found himself seriously considering disowning members of his family.

Meanwhile, at Voldemort's home, Harry and Tom were having a sleepover. After Harry's breakdown the previous day, Tom hadn't left his side. After magic proofing a TV and DVD player, they had built a nest of duvets and pillows before watching Doctor Who for hours. Harry had never seen it before so spent the whole time completely entranced as Tom watched him in clear amusement. They'd chatted and drunk hot chocolate and generally did things no self-respecting Dark Lord would be caught dead doing normally. Eventually, Harry had another breakdown and revealed everything about life at the Dursley's to Tom while the older male held him and swore vengeance on the whole family. He'd then been made to repeat the promise he'd sworn the first time he heard anything about Harry's less than ideal childhood. After that they'd fallen asleep in their nest in front of the TV in a mess of blankets and tangled limbs.

Harry woke up that morning feeling more content than ever, snuggled up to his new 'big brother's' chest. Tom was still asleep and Harry sighed happily before worming closer to the man and soon enough he was asleep again. They slept till mid-day as everyone else in the manor had been warned not to disturb them by a frazzled looking Tom. Diana had then reinforced that rule with her strongest glare. Needless to say, no one had been within ten feet of the door all evening. The pair was woken, however, by a loud explosion that seemed to shake the manor. Both bolted upright when there was a loud yell of, " ** _Damn inventors. What have you done now?!"_**

This identified the culprits as the Weasley and Lestrange brothers. Curious, the pair shuffled out into the hallway in their pyjamas. Fred, George, Rabastian and Rodolphus were stood at the end of the corridor, covered in soot and some kind of sticky substance while Diana glared at them all.

"What, exactly, are you trying to do?" She asked, voice deadly.

Rodolphus answered nervously, "Well… We're trying to perfect the invisibility cloak so that it completely shields a person's presence. Sound, smell, touch, even their magical signature. We're almost there as well."

This actually stopped the goddess in her tracks as she blinked up at the group of inventors. "You-You're actually managing that? In that case, you are forgiven."

And with that, she stalked away as the quartet of wizards trooped off to have a shower. Harry and Tom collapsed into laughter as soon as they had faded from sight. "Those four…" Tom wheezed.

"I know!" Giggled Harry.

"Did you see her face?" Tom bit out. Harry just laughed harder in reply. Still laughing, the duo staggered back into Harry's room to get dressed for the day.

After all, they had a war to win.


End file.
